Of Monsters and Princes (Loki x Reader)
by SacredMorningStar
Summary: When the reader is put in charge of Loki, after he is captured following the events of Avengers, he finds out that there is something more to her and that he and the mortal may have something in common. However, when he begins to grow bonded to her their ties will be tested in a way the God has not been truly tested. Promises will be kept, warnings ignored, and danger will come.
1. Start of Something New

**Loki x Anxiety!Reader**

 **Start of Something New**

 _ **Author's Note: Had inspiration to write a Loki/reader after watching Avengers again. This is the fruits of my labour and if anyone wants more please feel free to commission me. Also I am a UK English speaker so some of the spellings may be different for those who know US English**_

 _ **Key:  
(Y/N) = Your Name (Can be full or just first name)  
(H/C) = Hair Colour  
(H/L) = Hair Length  
(Y/A) = Your Age  
(F/O) = Favourite Outfit**_

Loki had always been someone that would stay back and leave others to whatever foolish act they wanted. He wasn't someone to make an effort for anyone if he thought there was no gain in it for himself. Even after the attack on New York, after being imprisoned in the Avengers Tower, he was still the same. He stood away, sat reading his books, keeping away from all the lower beings. He had no powers, his magic stripped from him so he couldn't use them, and had to be under the watch of an Avenger or S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent at all times.

Loki didn't care that agents had to watch him and he knew that none of them or the Avengers would want to watch him all the time. His thoughts, however, were far from reality. There was someone who wanted to help by keeping an eye on him. (Y/N) was a new member of the team, found on a mission not long after the attack, and had only recently been moved into the tower after training in one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. She owed her life to the team after they rescued her from Hydra's experiments, from being seen as just a number, and when she heard they needed someone to watch Loki she felt like she should take it on.

She hadn't been to the tower before, having been training in one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headquarters, and she had yet to actually meet Loki. She had seen footage from the attack, read reports and even read a file on Loki which had sparked an interest in the God. She walked into the tower with Fury on her heels and Tony showing her around the tower. When she got to the main lounge, where the Avengers where relaxing, she finally got to meet the whole team as they relaxed enjoying a few drinks together. She felt nervous being with so many people in the same room and she just kept her head down nodding to everyone.

She felt nervous and anxious still not used to being in rooms filled with people and when Steve came over to say hello she backed up slightly; keeping her head down as she moved close to Fury. She still couldn't trust right away, the affects from Hydra's experiments and how they had treated her made her cautious, and she had last seen the team when she was nearly out cold unable to control her own body. She stood back a little which seemed to bother Steve but he just smiled and pulled his hand back.

"It's okay, no one here's gonna hurt you, miss. We're all here to help. My name's Steve Rogers ma'am." The super soldier stood tall and smiled warmly hoping to settle the scared woman's nerves. "Ah 'tis the lady we rescued, glad to see you are doing well good Lady!" Thor rose quickly and reached out to pat her shoulder making her hide behind Fury further.

"Okay boys I think it's time to give the girl her space. She doesn't exactly seem happy that you're both so close." Natasha stood from her seat smiling softly as both lads took a few steps back. "Hi there, I'm Natasha, call me Nat. We have Tony, Clint, Bruce and you've met Steve and Thor. They guys can be a little tough, they're all rough around the edges, but once you get to know them you'll be fine." Natasha pointed to each member as she named them but kept back from the cautious woman as she slowly came back out from her hiding spot.

Fury watched amused before handing Nat a file containing everything the team would need to know about (Y/N) and the training she needed to go through with them while keeping an eye on Loki. The dark haired God had kept away from the rowdy bunch sitting on the far side of the room against one of the massive windows with a book in hand. He had noticed Fury walk in with the newest member of the team and how she acted around his brother and the man out of time.

He couldn't help the subtle snicker as he watched the team fail. He wore his leather under layers, unable to create his armour when his powers were taken, and his hair was slicked back and cut shorter. That was when she looked over to him and he caught sight of her striking eyes. She seemed to stare at him for quite some time before Nat brought her out of the room; no doubt taking the woman to her room to help her settle. Loki pulled himself back into his book as he noticed his brother come over to him; the blonde haired god smirking slightly with his arms crossed over his shoulder.

"It seems, dear brother, you will be spending much more time out of this tower." Thor looked down on the city below hearing his brother only huff. He rolled his eyes at his brother's words and just focused on his book before feeling a large hand pat his shoulder firmly. "Come on brother, don't be like this. This is your first chance to gain the freedom you have been wanting for a year. You say to take what chance you get given so why not take this chance?"

"Get your hands off me and stop calling me brother; you know my true heritage. That Midgardian is nothing more than some ploy by you and your foolish team. All it means is you have a longer chain on me." Loki's tone was bored and cold as he sat back looking over the city while pushing Thor's hand off his shoulder. He wasn't going to let Thor and his team get to him, he wasn't about to let this woman get under his skin just because she was there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two Weeks Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki had adjusted to the life on Midgard but what he hadn't gotten used to was the woman that was his guardian; almost like a child-minder. The whole team was out on a three day mission of some sort leaving Loki and (Y/N) alone in the tower with J.A.R.V.I.S. as a back-up should they need to call for the team. He had been her charge, having been told to keep an eye on the infantile god and maybe get him out of his shell, and she had spent the past two weeks just sitting with Loki while he read or quietly being in the same room as him. Loki's past experience of Midgardians had been loud, frustrating and painful yet this one was calm, collected and even tolerable.

From the first day (Y/N) had spent with Loki she had been different. He could tell she was nervous around the so called Defenders of Earth and often seemed to prefer being away from the group just like him. She seemed to find it hard to speak to anyone that came into the room and just kept to herself; whether she was reading, writing or drawing. He had noticed her aversion to groups and strangers and even how she seemed more tense around Bruce and Tony when they went on about experiments; not thinking she could hear them. He didn't know where she had come from, what had happened to her, or why she had such striking eyes that were so different to any mortal he'd seen before but he could tell that the talk of experiments and science made her nervous. He had yet to talk to her yet she seemed to prefer it when people didn't speak to her straight away and gave her chance to settle around them.

She was quiet around him, she didn't pry or infuriate the god, and had taken her time to just sit with him. He could just sit and read and she would sit nearby by wouldn't make her presence unwanted. The first time she had sat with him he had expected her to be like Tony and torment him yet she just sat with a sketchbook sketching. He had wanted to ask her what she was drawing yet he hadn't wanted to make it obvious that he was interested; knowing that Tony would tease him about it.

Since then he had wanted to know her more, to know why she was so quiet and why she took on the role of watching him. Loki being as stubborn as he was meant that he wasn't willing to risk Tony and his companions finding out about his interest; knowing they would make him regret it. During the two weeks he had just gotten settled into the routine of sitting in his corner of the room, reading a book, (Y/N) walking in and taking her seat with her notebook or sketchpad and finding a comfortable silence after breakfast for most of the day till evening rolled round and they both got hungry. Each day seemed to go like this till the end of their second week.

The pair had just got settled into their normal routine of sitting in silence together with the subtle sound of pencil and the odd turn of a page. This time was different though. As Loki got settled he began to notice the Midgardian looking up at him and then back to her paper continuing to sketch. He was interested in what she was doing and watched her over his book; smirking whenever he caught her gaze.

After about an hour of sitting in silence with (Y/N) sketching away and looking at the black haired god Loki finally decided to move only to earn a subtle glare from his artistic companion. He kept shifting and moving catching the subtle looks he was getting until she finally seemed to get so frustrated she put down the pad and gave up what she was working on. She began to mutter and mumble under her breath making Loki only smirk more realising he had interrupted her sketching.

"What mortal? Is there something bothering you?" His facetious tone seemed to only irritate (Y/N) more as she tucked a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. She just stayed silent as she looked away from him obviously ignoring him. When she didn't reply Loki just sighed and shook his head pulling himself back into his book. "Pathetic mortal." He grumbled to himself annoyed he didn't get a proper reaction from his guardian.

(Y/N) tensed at his mumblings and just got up storming out of the room keeping her head down and hiding it from the trickster. She had spent two weeks trying to find a way to talk to him and the first words to her are pure insults and torment. Right now she just needed have some space feeling frustration from the drawing not going her way, from all the effort seemingly going nowhere and from Loki being Loki. She got away from him heading to the kitchen and took a grounding breath to try and vent some of her anger.

Meanwhile Loki looked at the spot the woman had been sitting and saw the sketchpad she had been drawing in the whole time he had known her. He looked around for her, making sure she wasn't there to stop him, before going over and having a look through the book. He froze in stunned awe as he looked at the multitude of sketches that all seemed to be of him in different poses. He flicked through the pages seeing detailed sketches of his armour, helmet and even his brother's armour. The amount of detail in each sketch made it seem like he could just lift the items out of the book. He looked down regretfully at the half finished sketch of him that seemed to be the last drawing in the book. He looked up at where his companion had stormed out and sighed softy following her route with sketchbook in hand.

When he saw her staring out of the window he moved over slowly and stood next her looking down on the city. She tensed up a little expecting him to insult her again only to see the sketchbook in his hand. "You're drawings are very good, for a mortal." He avoided looking at her as he spoke; focusing more on his reflection in the glass before him. "It seems you can make even that oaf of a brother look somewhat interesting. Had I known you had such skills I would not have tormented you so." (Y/N) felt the heat of a blush rise to her face and quickly took the sketchbook that was offered to her. "Thanks, I...I hadn't wanted anyone to..." Loki smirked slightly and shook his head. "...To see them, I had guessed by the way you always kept this book guarded. I just happened to have the luck of distracting you. I do wonder why there is such a fascination with me though. Almost every image in that book of yours is to do with me, perhaps the mortal has a...what do you call them...oh yes, a crush." He was teasing again but this time it was more light-hearted and less hostile. "Do not tell the others of this, I have a reputation to keep, but you are tolerable. You don't scream and shout at that strange box, nor do you get in my face, unlike those buffoons you seem to actually understand the concept of personal space."

Loki smiled lightly finally looking down at the girl who was his minder. The soft smile on his face was one he would only show to those he deemed interesting or, in (Y/N)'s case, tolerable. She smiled and held the sketchbook close to her chest nodding slightly. "J.A.R.V.I.S., can you not tell Tony about Loki's speech? As far as Tony's concerned we spent the day like we always do." Her voice was soft but held the slight tone of happiness as she realised that her effort had meant something. "Of course Miss (Y/N). I would fear Mr Stark would only use such information as a bargaining chip anyway." The sarcastic AI's comment made (Y/N) laugh softly. "Yes, I'm sure he would."


	2. Broken Minds

**Loki x Anxiety!Reader**

 **Broken Minds**

 _ **Author's Note: So after seeing all the faves and hearing such positive feedback from the previous Loki/Reader I thought I'd get up a sequel to the story. I'd recommend reading the first part to make sense of the story! Link in the description!**_

 _ **Key:  
(Y/N) = Your Name (Can be full or just first name)  
(H/C) = Hair Colour  
(H/L) = Hair Length  
(Y/A) = Your Age  
(F/O) = Favourite Outfit**_

Ever since Loki had seen (Y/N)'s art he seemed to have changed around her. It seemed that the promise from Tony's AI had been kept as none of the team had mentioned anything to either of them. The times when both of them would be alone together had still stayed fairly quiet but the silence wasn't as uncomfortable as before. There wasn't a strange tension where someone was expected to talk, both sitting at ease with whatever they were doing, and at odd times Loki would even hold a pose when he noticed his companion sketching away. He felt at ease with her around and she was the same when it was just her and Loki.

Both of them had fallen into the routine of waking up, avoiding the team and finding the quietest room to just sit in peace. (Y/N) enjoyed the quiet moments but it seemed like the team were starting to worry about her spending all her time with the Trickster. There seemed to be times where the pair had settled together nicely and one of the team would find them and sit with them trying to talk to their newest member. Every time they would try to talk to her she felt awkward and would stay fairly quiet till they gave up and left making Loki smirk.

It was during one of these intrusions that (Y/N) seemed to get really awkward and nervous as Tony tried to get her to come out with them for a few drinks. She sat there with her sketchbook in hand, in her (F/O) with her (H/C) pulled back in a messy bun, just trying to draw with the billionaire sitting too close, talking too much, and not seeming to get the idea that she just wanted to be left alone. She knew Tony was a scientist of sorts and with her experience with them she felt even more nervous around him then she did around the others; the same with Bruce. Loki was sat in the window seat, it being his favourite place to sit, listening to the idiot go on and on about how much fun his favourite mortal would have if she just went out with them and it really bothered him.

Tony had spent barely any time with the woman and had no clue what her interests were even though they were staring him in the face. The brutish man just didn't seem to understand that this was what the young woman thought of as a good time; the polar opposite to nearly every other Avenger. Loki watched as the billionaire tried to win over the anxious girl's affections trying to temp her with drinks, busy bars and loud, chaotic rooms that just weren't her style. Every time she tried to turn him down he just tried to push more making her feel more nervous and try to move away from him; which he of course ignored and only shuffled closer. (Y/N) kept her head down avoiding looking at the billionaire and her hands shook lightly as fear began to pulse through her body. She didn't like people this close, she still couldn't cope with anyone being this close, and as the man kept speaking to her she could feel her stomach twist and knot and her mind race too fast for her to calm it down.

~~~~~~~~~~Flash Back~~~~~~~~

(Y/N) felt herself strapped down to cold metal, thick belts buckling her down by her ankles and wrists, and the air was stale with the heavy smell of anti-septic. Her head was pounding but she couldn't concentrate properly on anything but the smells and sounds. She had been dressed in an open backed robe, like that from a hospital, and her hair had been shaved as short as it could go. The room was filled with blinding lights that were all focused on her body sprawled out on the cold, metal bed.

She looked around her seeing the doctors that held her were preparing injections and an I.V. while another cleaned where the needle was to go in. She felt their touches and watched them look through x-rays and files before feeling a sharp scratch against her arm. Slowly there was a feeling of burning through her body, flowing through her veins and spreading painfully, and as she tried to fight and struggle against the scientists injecting her. She watched one take away the now empty syringe only to pick up another one. The injections kept going one after another till all six of the syringes were empty and (Y/N) body burned and ached all over. Her body began to burn up and her mind couldn't think of anything more than the pain. Her world seemed to darken and spin as she began to lose consciousness while those around her put in the I.V. before her wold turned black.

She woke later chained by a collar to the wall of a plain white room, curled up on an uncomfortable bed, with a glass wall on the opposite side of the room. She felt woozy and as she looked around the room she noticed deep scratches in the walls, claw marks in the floors, every surface had deep gouges as if a beast had been fighting to get out. She looked out to see one of the doctors from before taking notes and stealing quick glances at her.

Days were spent trapped in this half destroyed room with nothing but a slot in the glass wall where food was slipped through. The scientists seemed to take it in turns to watch their latest experiment as if they were expecting something great to happen. She just stayed on the bed, only moving for food and water, and kept her legs against her chest scared of what the scientists had planned for her. As she sat there she couldn't help rocking slightly feeling the fear and pain from those strange injections a few days before.

It was only a couple of days later that they decided to try once again, to try the injections that they had pushed into her, and when they came in they took her out using a catch-pole; like the ones used on animals. They dragged her back to that room, back to that cold table, the blinding lights that burned her skin. Once again (Y/N)'s body was strapped down against the metal table with the leather straps, after quite a struggle and a sedation, and the fear started all over again. The burning pain, the fear, the aching of her whole body. She was shaking with pure fear as the scientists gathered around her and forced her still as they injected the strange serums into her body. She struggled and fought against them as best she could, even under sedation, yet nothing seemed to break her free of the painful injections. Fear. Pain. Hatred. Panic. Her mind raced in desperation to escape and yet nothing seemed to work. She was doomed to be stuck in this cycle of fear, pain, agony, hatred.

~~~~~~~~~Back to Present~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony was sat far too close, Loki was watching him carefully and (Y/N) was shaking lightly trying to get away from the billionaire. Each time she got further away the man would fill the space once again. Loki was starting to get more frustrated with the foolish mortal that pestered his companion. Finally he slammed his book shut and threw it down on the table next to him earning a glare from Tony.

"I believe she would be better sitting where she is now, leave her alone Tin-Man." Loki's expression was the coldest he'd had since coming to earth. "Oh? Is Reindeer Games jealous? I think she's better hanging out with the team." Tony just leaned back slightly and lay his arm across the back of the chair making (Y/N) feel trapped. "She's not your toy to do with as you please Loki. She's here to watch you and make sure you behave not to be some entertainment for you." Tony's words were a little cold as he spoke and gently placed a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder looking to her. "Come on, Bright-eyes, you need some time away from Frosty here. We'll give you a great time."

(Y/N) was just sat there shaking, the memories of those horrible experiments swarming her mind, as her heart pounded in her ears. Her eyes seemed to stare off into space as more and more fear rose through her body making her shake. She curled up tightly in a corner of the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest, and stared out of the window feeling her fear only get worse. As the arguing between the god and billionaire got worse something seemed to change in the fearful woman.

~~~~~~~~~Loki's Point of View~~~~~~~~

I couldn't stand the sight of that fool trying to bother (Y/N) and obviously ignoring that fact she couldn't stand him. He had no clue what she enjoyed doing, he hadn't spent any time getting to know her, and he just thought his interests would be hers. He kept cornering her and just seemed to ignore the way she moved away from him. I seemed to just lose it when she began to shake and that idiot just didn't seemed to get the idea she wasn't interested.

I couldn't help how my snarky comments began to get more ferocious and angry. I just kept trying to get that moron to leave and he just didn't seemed to understand he wasn't wanted here. I tried to put myself between (Y/N) and this fool as soon as he stood and managed to keep a barrier but it seemed like she was still scared, her mind seemingly somewhere else entirely, and I just couldn't seem to get her out of it.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)? What's wrong? Talk to me mortal." My words sounded colder then I had intended but I was worried about her. She seemed to be lost and no matter how I tried to snap her out of it she just stayed lost in that fear. I had never seen anyone so frightened and once it would have brought me joy but to see (Y/N) like this only seemed to make me more angry with the man of iron. I watched as she just stared out and suddenly she began to change form. Her body began to morph into something strange that must have been an animal of this pathetic realm. There was pure fear in those mismatched eyes as she changed into something wild and frightened.

~~~~~~~~~~~Narrator's Point of View~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/N)'s fear seemed to have taken over her. She had lost her mind to the memories of what happened to her and it seemed that the results of those experiments was about to come to light to the team. Tony froze midsentence and seemed to be staring behind Loki with wide eyes making the Trickster turn slowly.

Behind the Asgardian, and where (Y/N) had been sitting, was a large snow leopard with the same odd eyes. The creature was larger than any normal leopard, standing at 5 feet tall on all fours, and had brilliant silver spots against her thick coat. She snarled loudly glaring at the pair who had been arguing just moments ago. Both men froze looking at the powerful creature only to see her step down and begin to stalk them. She snarled as the pair began to step away from her slowly yet her eyes seemed to be focused on one person.

Tony noticed those eyes were on him and seemed to move even faster away from her; keeping his eyes on the massive beast. "J.A.R.V.I.S. bud can you let the team know we got a wild one on our hands." Loki glared at Tony before the man went running out of the room only making (Y/N) run after him snarling. Had it been any other time Loki would've laughed and left them to it but he couldn't just leave the one mortal he liked to get hurt by those buffoons.

He rushed through the tower unsure where Tony or (Y/N) had gone to only to hear the sounds of shouting and breaking glass from a few floors above. He tensed and teleported himself to where the ruckus was worrying about the woman who had been so kind to him after everything he had done and been through. She was the last chance he had for making up for everything he destroyed, she was a reason for him to want to protect this miserable realm.

He froze at the sight. The terrified creature was being restrained by Thor while the other Avengers were tying her up. At some point Tony had gotten into one of his suits, Bruce was being calmed by Nat as he was breathing hard trying to control his anger, and Steve had his shield out obviously on the defensive. The room was an absolute mess with broken glass everywhere, damaged paintings, ripped up sofas and chairs knocked over. Everywhere was chaotic and Loki feared the worst would happen to this precious mortal; she was the only one that mattered him here. He could see her freaking out and trying to fight against the blonde haired god which only made Loki feel worried and feared she would get hurt.

"(Y/N)!" Loki's voice almost cracked as he rushed over to the freaking out leopardess trying to break her free. "Let go of her you fool! You are only making it worse!" He glared at his brother while the team were stunned at Loki's reaction. He used his magic to restrain her lightly while getting his foolish brother off her as she tried to fight against the magic binding her down to the floor. Everyone was still stunned at Loki's reaction to Thor clinging to the frightened creature.

"Brother keep back, this creature has been chasing Tony and we just cannot calm it." Thor tried to get Loki away but he mere glared at his brother as he knelt down in front of the frightened creature. She was thrashing and fighting against his magic trying to get away from everyone; growling angrily and even swiping her large paws at Loki. "Look what you did, Tin Man! You scared her so much…had I known this would happen I would have never let you come into the room. Why was I not made aware that she had such an ability?!" Loki's tone was cruel and cold as he knelt before the tiring leopardess refusing to look away from her.

"Look I didn't know that would happen either Reindeer Games. I mean I knew she wasn't a social butterfly so I thought would be better for her to be out of her bubble for a bit. We didn't tell you because you didn't need to know." Tony quickly disassembled his suit while the rest of the team seemed to settle while keeping their eyes on Loki in case he decided to attack. "I think it is best that you guys leave while I calm her down. She's terrified and right now she needs someone that has not harmed her."(Y/N) seemed to huff, growling lightly, as she wore herself out fighting against the chains that just didn't budge. "I do not think that is a good idea brother. She could be dangerous if she gets free. You can only just form those chains, what were to happen…." "Just leave the room, I need her calm, and you are right I can only just hold these chains up. So I suggest you leave now before she goes after that fool again."

Even though Loki had spoken so harshly it seemed that even Tony realised he'd need to get out of the room. Once the team left the room Loki dropped the chains and sighed heavily feeling himself weakened. The frightened feline before him watched him carefully as she caught her breath and glared down at him. "(Y/N), you need to calm down, you need to focus on who you are. I know you are scared, I know he pressured you, but this is never the way. Never let yourself lose control, that is never the way, you must calm down or you will end up badly hurting someone. Do not turn into the monster I became." His voice was low and pained as he saw her slowly lay down, those bright eyes looking confused and worried.

A deep grumble left her as she watched a hand slowly reach out to her. As the hand moved closer she watched as the skin began to change to an ice-cold blue with brilliant red eyes. To see Loki change made (Y/N) sit up quickly and watched him confused. The slight tilt of her head made the ex-prince laugh softly but his brilliant red eyes showed concern for the mortal. The change back seemed to be slow as she sat looking at the Asgardian before her worried. Her fur began to recede and her body slowly changed back to normal. She was still shaking lightly but it seemed she'd calmed down and Loki realised just how worried he had been of the mortal.

There was only one person that he cared about as much, if not more, and that was his mother. She had been the one person who cared for him and took the time to show him he was special. He loved her and would give up the world for her. She had been the only person to make him feel welcomed at least till now. He would think his mother would hate him for what he had done now yet here was this mortal willing to spend her time with him and get to know him. She was the only one that seemed to actually make any attempt with him and in the short time they had been together they seemed to form a tight bond.

His worry had surprised him and how fast he had reacted without thinking to protect her was something he never thought he would do. He hadn't been one to rush into a fight but, at the thought that (Y/N) was going to get hurt, that all flew out the window when it came to the mortal.

Finally she seemed to calm and her form returned to normal. She was breathing hard, obviously tired, as her eyes fell on the blue god before her. She was stunned by the bright blue skin and brilliant red eyes as she looked over the fallen god before her and felt his hand against her hair. He gently stroked her cheek, calming her racing heart, keeping her focus on him as he removed his thick jacket to cover the now nude woman with. She pulled the jacket close to her body covering herself up as she looked around the room confused and scared.

She held her head lightly as Loki sat back, his skin returning to the Asgardian colour, looking her over to make sure she was okay. She closed her eyes tightly and hummed lightly as she tried to settle her pounding head. "What happened? How did I end up here?" She looked around the room seeing the destruction only making her remember those days as a test subject. "No…not again." Tears began to well up in her eyes as she saw the scratches and broken glass. "(Y/N), (Y/N)! Look at me, this is not your fault, you need to stay calm."

Feeling his hands against her head seemed to calm her again yet there was one nagging question she just couldn't settle. "Did anyone get hurt? You haven't been have you?" Her voice shook lightly as she spoke only to receive a soft smile from Loki. "No one has been hurt. It never ceases to amaze me how much you care about someone like me. Come, let's get you dressed, then you can explain to those morons what happened."

~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~~

Loki had taken (Y/N) up to her room, teleporting her there, before he spoke to the team and told them to wait in the lounge area; which the team set to repairing. She had a quick shower, enjoying the hot water against her skin, and changed into a baggy hoodie and jeans to be comfy. She felt nervous about being with the team, about explaining what had happened to her, about being in a group in general. She took a look out of her room window at the city below seeing the cars, buses, taxis and people passing by on the streets below. She wished she could be like them, living normal lives, every day the same, with normal families and homes. There was a light knock on the door which brought her out of her thoughts and brought her back to the situation.

"It's open." Her voice was a little unsure but as soon as she saw Loki walk in she visibly relaxed. "(Y/N), you don't have to do this yet but they appear to be worried about you. It seems like they don't trust me well enough to take care of you." He took her hand gently and looked over her checked her gaze for something and obviously finding nothing to concern him. "I don't want them to get hurt, I..I shouldn't have been here, I should've known this would happen." Loki's hands quickly cupped her cheeks getting her to focus on him. "If you had not come here I would not see the point of this pathetic tower. You've shown me that not all mortals are simpering morons." She shrugged lightly but smiled softly knowing he wanted to make her feel better. "Thank you, Loki. Sometimes it just seems like I'm so far from being human." Her eyes lowered to the ground as Loki's hands lowered and took hers. "You're no monster, you have a heart that cares too much. You are not ice cold; not like me." He sighed softly until he felt her hands hold his gently. "You're not a monster; at least not to me. Come with me when I tell them." At her words Loki just seemed to smile and nod to her. Oh how she reminded him of his mother yet it seemed like something else was there as well.


	3. Bright Blossoms

**Loki x Anxious!Reader**

 **Bright Blossoms**

 _ **Author's Note: So this is where the bond between Loki and Reader will grow. This one came to me as I was at work so had to wait till I got home to be able to write it. I've been wanting to keep going with this series for a while but with how many stories I have on the go at the moment. I hope you guys enjoy this as again it's much more fluff in this than the others.**_

 _ **Key:  
(Y/N) = Your Name  
(H/C) = Hair Colour  
(H/L) = Hair Length  
(Y/A) = Your Age  
(F/O) = Favourite Outfit**_

(Y/N) was still a little unsteady as she headed back towards the main communal area of the tower. She held onto Loki, just to try and steady her, as she travelled down the lift and out to the area that now had been all cleaned. She could see where she had ripped the walls, where she had ran through breaking glass and destroying the room. They had cleaned up most of it by getting rid of anything broken but she knew she had ripped carpets, missing statues and art showed what she'd broken, and the more she looked the more she seemed to find. Loki noticed where her mind was going and squeezed her hand gently to bring her out of her thoughts. The Avengers were all sat on the sofas together muttering and whispering to each other before Loki brought their attention to him.

The team turned quickly and looked over to (Y/N) and Loki surprised and a little unsure of what to make of her. They had come across a lot so far but nothing was like this. She kept her head down and shoved her hands in the pockets of her hoodie feeling all those eyes on her at once. She took a deep breath and bit her lip lightly before looking back up at the team feeling nervous. "Hey look Short Stuff, you don't have to tell us now, if you need to wait we can wait." Tony smiled to her hoping for it to comfort her; which it surprisingly did a little. She had expected the first thing out of his mouth would be how much he hated her and how she was going to be kicked out of the Tower. When she heard what he had said she relaxed. She felt relief knowing that the team didn't hate her

"No, you…you all need to know. I didn't want you guys to find out like this. I hadn't wanted anyone to find out like this." She felt Loki's arms wrap around her and she felt security in his arms before he brought her over to one of the sofas; sitting her down so she could focus on talking. "I hadn't ever wanted to hurt anyone, I hadn't ever wanted to be…this…" She indicated her body as she spoke. "…but I had no control over that. I-My earliest memory is being strapped to a metal bed, having injections, strange chemicals, I didn't know what they would do. There were people in masks, making notes, and then they began to-to make me do s-strange tests. I didn't-I never thought any of this could…" She closed her eyes, fighting back the memories, and took a breath trying to calm herself. The team around her were stunned by what those words meant. She had been an experiment, she had been given a power she'd never been taught to control, she was obviously scared that they would hate her and throw her out. "I-They made me into-into a monster, I-I'm a freak, made to be a beast and fight." She buried her face in her hands and felt Loki's hand rub her back to calm her.

The team looked over to her and let her calm down as she shook and thought back on everything that had happened. They gave her time to calm down, to settle her shaken nerves, before Steve came over and gently patted her shoulder. He wanted the girl to know that they would be happy to take care of her, that they would be there to help her, that they wanted her to feel like they could be a family without fear of anyone being rejected and hurt. "(Y/N), you're not a monster or a freak. You're the victim of an experiment you never wanted to be part of. We would never see you as a monster." She felt relief as she heard the American Hero's words and slowly relaxed seeing that the team were willing to accept her even though she thought herself a beast. "Yeah Short Stuff, we could never want you gone. You make this place feel more like a home, bring some normality, we've come back to you cooking us a full corse meal and everything." Tony smiled to her and she was amazed that they had been so kind to her. "Tony, I…I'm sorry I chased you, I'm sorry I almost attacked you." Tony just shook his head and smiled to her stopping her. "No need, I shouldn't have pushed you as far as I did, I've been known to push my luck." "He deserved what he got for upsetting you." Natasha said smirking as she got a small laugh from the anxious girl.

The team seemed to relax as they saw their companion settle with them, seeing her open up and be able to finally understand why she was the way she was. She had only had bad experiences with people, she hadn't had anyone treat her like a person, and it seemed that now she had someone who saw her as more she was beginning to settle into a routine with them. She was so surprised that they had just accepted her as part of the family. She looked up at Loki and smiled as she felt his arm tighten around her keeping her close. He pulled her close to him and Thor noticed the way they'd looked at each other having only ever seen that look before with his parents. He smiled fondly thinking his brother had found something special and that the once lonely man could finally feel like he belonged somewhere. The team all came over and one at a time gave (Y/N) a hug welcoming her officially into the group before J.A.R.V.I.S. alerted the team to a mission they needed to go on. This was to be the mission that would make or break Loki. It was the first mission he was to be put in charge of and, although he wasn't going alone, it meant a lot to the prince.

He had known the reason for his change was no mystery; at least to himself. He knew that (Y/N) had changed him for the better and had given him a reason to keep fighting. He had been surprised when she didn't see him as a monster, even after seeing his true form, and when she even looked to him for support he was amazed. He had never thought anyone could accept him like she had. He'd seen the way people were looking at him when they thought he wouldn't see. He knew what people thought and said about him. To have the change to prove that they were wrong, to at least one person, gave the young prince hope. He got ready to go on his mission with Clint, Tony and Thor and could see that something was on his brother's mind. He waited till they were away from the tower, away from prying ears, and confronted his brother about the strange looks the older man was giving him.

"Oh do not think so poor of me Loki. I have merely noticed your affection for the young lady. You both seem rather smitten with one another. I am pleased you have found someone brother." Thor smirked playfully as he spoke and the realisation that his moron of a brother had noticed the affection almost angered him. He stopped a moment to think if his brother had noticed maybe she had, maybe she was just acting the way she was to win him over. "Why would she be smitten with me? In my experience brother it is you who they are smitten for. Why would she want me when there stands you to prove how meek I am?" The three men were stunned by Loki's reaction having thought he would deny it straight away. Thor was concerned that his brother still seemed to think so little of himself and both Clint and Tony had believed something was there. "I am not her type Loki. Is that not obvious? Who is it she spends most of her time with? Whose company has she wanted since the day she came here? It has always been you Loki, always, why now would you think anything else?" Thor could see just how unsure and confused his brother was. He had been so used to Thor getting what he wanted that the thought of someone choosing Loki over Thor confused him. "She has seen what I am Thor. How could she want me as her partner when she has seen the monster that I am."

(Y/N) had happily waved off the three when they had left on their mission but in her gut there was something up. She sighed softly as she came back down to the communal area to see Nat relaxing as she watched TV. (Y/N) sat beside her and watched the show, something about wild animals in some mountain range, before the agent smiled to the girl. "Hey, good to see you're doing well, you know we will always help you. You've done a lot for all of us. You've changed Loki for the better and even given the team a home most of us never thought we could have." Nat smiled to her as she saw the girl get comfortable. "Loki seems to have taken a real shine to you. I've never seen him like he is with anyone other than you." She smiled at the thought of Loki's change. "I've seen the way he looks at you, he has this look that I've never seen before, you've really pulled one over him." She looked at the spy surprised by what she said. "No you must be seeing things, I mean why would he be interested in me?" Her words earned an eye roll from the spy before she shook her head. "Look (Y/N), Loki would be lucky to have you, he would do anything to have you at his side." She just shook her head not believing what Natasha was saying. "I'll prove it to you, Tony is planning a party in a couple of days. We'll go get you an outfit I know you'll both love. You've been through a lot today so we'll go out tomorrow. Don't worry about paying, we'll put it on Tony's bill." She laughed lightly at (Y/N)'s stunned face. "Would that be alright with him?" Nat just smiled. "He'd never notice it, besides it's for his party, he'd be thrilled to give you something so special."

The next morning, while Loki and the others were still out on their mission, Nat and (Y/N) spent time looking through different dresses online thinking of the types that would suit the shy, anxious woman. There were a few styles she seemed to like and now they had a few ideas of what they were going to get they planned their girly day out. Nat made sure they didn't separate too far, not wanting (Y/N) to be uncomfortable or feel stressed, and the more they looked through the more (Y/N) seemed to enjoy the day. The two women spent the whole morning looking through different dress shops, wanting to find the perfect dress, and when (Y/N) came across one dress she couldn't seem to put it down. The dress was a soft emerald green, with one strap over the left shoulder, and small gems across the strap. It looked beautiful and when she put it against herself she didn't feel right having it. She didn't feel like she deserved a dress like this but as she went to put it back Nat quickly took it and smiled. "Wow, now that's a dress. It looks beautiful. Go try it on, I want to see what you look like in it." The spy encouraged the unsure woman over to the changing rooms and pushed her inside. She waited for her to change and when she stepped out the spy stared amazed. The shy and awkward girl looked beautiful, she looked stunning, the dress held her curves perfectly, showed off her bust enough not to be obnoxious, and seemed to have been made to fit her perfectly.

(Y/N) stared at her reflection in the mirror, she looked at how the dress held her form, and saw the stunned look Natasha seemed to have. She'd never thought a dress could be so beautiful and the more she looked at the dress the more she felt like it wasn't right for her to take it. "Please tell me you're going to buy that dress, you look absolutely stunning, he'd be speechless." (Y/N) just looked down and ran her hand through her (H/L), (H/C) hair before sighing softly. She looked at the price tag and frowned slightly shaking her head. "Nat, this…this dress it…it's beautiful, yeah it's amazing but it's so expensive and if…if I only wear it once then it would be such a waste." Nat placed her hand on the woman's shoulder. "Hey, first of all money isn't an issue, second it's not just the dress that looks beautiful, and third go for it, there are going to be plenty of parties where you could wear this." Nat smiled as she saw the subtle smile on the girls face. "Who cares if you only wear it once? If it means you make Loki speechless then it'll be worth it. Heck I'm sure he'd fine a reason for you to wear it. We're buying it and that's final, let's get you out of it and find some shoes."

(Y/N) was surprised just how determined Nat was to get the dress and she even hunted for the perfect pair of shoes. They spent hours looking for a matching shawl, bag and jewellery before they found the perfect pair of flats. Each item had similar gems encrusted looking like they were falling down. Nat had bought her own dress, a red, thigh high, and matching shoes and the pair began to head back through the bustling city to the tower together; laughing together. (Y/N) knew she'd found someone who could be a good friend, someone she could have those days out shopping, she had a friend she could do all the things she'd missed out on. As the pair got back to the tower they were greeted fondly by J.A.R.V.I.S. who commented it was good to see (Y/N) was smiling. It had been the first time she truly smiled in a long time and it felt good to have somewhere she could comfortably call home, to have somewhere she felt she belonged, and to have something similar to a family around her. The girls began to look through pictures online, looking for different make-up styles, different hair styles, something they both could do to impress the team.

After a couple of days the boys came back from their mission, having taken down a Hydra base, and Loki couldn't wait to see (Y/N) again. Not being able to see or talk to her for a few days left him desperate to talk to her, to see her, to know she was okay. He was bothered that she would be okay being with the spy woman. He had known how manipulative she could be and there was a worry she would begin to turn the woman against him. The trio headed back on one of the jets and as they got closer Tony seemed to notice how desperate Loki was to get back. "Well, it seems someone's eager to get back. Are we such bad company?" Thor smirked as Loki ignored the billionaire's comment. "Oh no brother Tony, I believe that there is someone he is eager to see. Have you not seen the way Lady (Y/N) and Loki look at each other?" Tony instantly seemed to realise and smirked playfully. "Reindeer Games has a crush on Short Stuff? I never would've thought. The pair have seemed to spend a lot of time together. She is very beautiful, I mean wow I'd love to wake up to that every morning…" At this Loki glared at the billionaire making the man go quiet. "You think you would be worthy of her? That you could ever have someone as special as her?" The sharp tone and how quick Loki spoke surprised Tony and he quickly tried to calm the man down. "Woah, slow down Rudolph, it was just a joke. Don't worry I don't think she'd ever want me, she has eyes on a much taller much stranger prize."

Loki didn't understand the other's words and instead chose to ignore the pair. He kept his mind focused on the goal of getting back to the only person that seemed to really understand him here. He ignored the ramblings of the two morons hoping they would drop it if he just ignored them that they would stop talking. He had no such luck as the more he ignored them the more Tony seemed to want to get a reaction. Finally as they got close to the tower Tony admitted the only thing that would now get a reaction from the Norse God. "Okay, I'm sorry, but you have to admit, you guys are a cute couple. You really do make a good match." Loki was amazed the man admitted what he had and when he looked over to the other Tony smiled. "You want to impress her right? Well I'm having a party, a formal charity bash, why not suit up and show her just how special you could be?"

Loki liked the thought of impressing her and when they got back to the tower the three men, after a shower each and a change of clothes, headed out to go shopping at the one place Tony knew best for suits. While Thor and Loki were being measured for their suits Tony got a call from Natasha. She had a plan to keep the two apart from one another until the party, which was now only a day or so away, to make their reveals that much more powerful to one another. Tony had liked the plan with it being kept hidden from both parties so they had no clue and liked the idea of keeping something from Loki. They just hoped the man would play along and wouldn't find out what they had planned. After the two Asgardians were measured for their suits they were given the full suit to put on, quickly dressing, and stepped out of the changing rooms to reveal they both had stunning suits. Loki had black blazer and slacks with a green shirt and black tie while Thor had similar but with a red shirt.

When they finally bought their suits and headed back to the tower Tony found that Loki was desperately searching for (Y/N) hoping to find her somewhere in the tower. Luckily J.A.R.V.I.S. had been told the plan to keep the prince and the woman apart and when Loki asked the AI where she was he simply replied that both women had gone out for a meal together and that he did not know where they went. Loki, not being able to tell deceit from honesty in the AI's voice, ended up just taking his suit up to his room and hanging it up. He had enjoyed seeing himself in the suit and the thought of (Y/N) being impressed would make it all worthwhile.

The next day couldn't go fast enough for the whole team. Nat, Steve and Clint spent the day trying to keep (Y/N) out of the tower, taking her to get her nails done, have spa treatments, and Tony, Thor and Bruce, who got pulled into it by Tony, spent their day trying to get Loki to stay in the tower by showing him the forms he would have to fill in for the mission. They managed to drag the day on long enough that the pair would just miss each other before they got ready for the party. There were a lot of phone calls and texts to find out where the other was so they could avoid each other. Loki had been getting suspicious as to why the three men were keeping him so busy, and to why he hadn't seen (Y/N) but every time he asked it seemed she was out. She seemed to always be away and the more he pushed the less he seemed to get.

Loki had been tempted to slip away and use magic to try and find where she was but the thought of interrupting whatever peace she seemed to have. He would've known if anything was upsetting her and the fact that nothing was making him unsettled he decided to brush it off and just hope that when he saw her later she would be as happy to see him and he would be to see her. (Y/N) was also bothered that she hadn't seen Loki since he left on his mission and she hoped that the man wouldn't be too upset that they hadn't seen each other. She didn't know when he had been due back and when she was getting ready into the dress for the evening there was a small glimmer of hope that he would see her when she was there. She wanted to surprise him, to show him she was more than just smart, and she thought the dress could show that.

The start of the evening had gone fairly well for the two women as they got ready, they had their hair done earlier in the day with them both having their favourite hairstyles, had been pampered and spoiled all day. Both women seemed to have a new glow to their skin and (Y/N) seemed to have found a new confidence with the new way she looked. They slipped into their dresses and worked on their make-up, Nat not allowing her to see her reflection yet, and only once everything was completed she finally allowed the anxious girl to see her reflection. (Y/N) was absolutely stunned as she looked at the woman reflected back at her. The woman looking at her looked so beautiful, so different to what she had expected to see, and she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. "Nat, this…I…" She tried to gather her thoughts to somehow thank the woman that made her look so stunning. The spy woman couldn't resist smiling as she dabbed away the tears that rolled down her friend's face. "Hey come on, we don't want to smudge it just yet, all I did was bring to light your best bits. You've always been this pretty." The two broke into light giggles before there was a knock at the door. Steve and Clint were waiting on the other side of the door to escort the two down to where the party was happening. It was exciting for the pair of them as they both walked into the buzzing room and almost instantly (Y/N) felt nervous seeing just how many people were there. All the excitement and joy seemed to flow out of her. It was so busy and the more she looked the more nervous she became. She clung to Clint's arm feeling her stomach twist and knot at the thought of being around all these people. "Hey careful, you're gonna break my arm at this rate, just chill out. No one's gonna hurt you here."

As soon as Nat heard Clint she turned to see the younger woman panicked and looking round constantly. She hadn't thought that the reaction would be so strong and she quickly took hold of the woman getting her to focus on the spy. She had to calm her nerves or they might end up with the same happening to Tony here. That was something both of them could do without and Nat knew it would only bother (Y/N) if she knew something like that happened again. She took the girl to the back of the room and left the two men puzzled as Nat calmed the woman down. She focused the (E/C) eyes of the younger woman on her own and that seemed to calm fearful girl down. "Hey, you okay? You need to keep a cool head okay? We won't let anyone hurt you, I promise." Suddenly there was a voice booming over the speakers that everyone in the room could easily recognise.

"Well, looks like we've got a great party going on. Who's ready to really get this party started?" Tony's voice boomed over the system as he walked down a set of stairs drawing everyone's attention to him. He walked down the staircase with Thor, Loki and Bruce just behind muttering to one another. Loki was obviously searching for something in the crowd and when Nat saw Loki's expression she knew exactly who he was looking for. "(Y/N) I think someone's looking for you." She looked up at where everyone else was staring and finally when Loki saw her he stared and a subtle smile came to his face. He slipped past Tony, who was continuing a speech and got the DJ to play some music, and headed straight to the pair. When he saw (Y/N) he was stunned, he stared at her amazed just how beautiful she'd become.

He felt pride as he saw her in his own colour, to see her wearing the green he took as his symbol, and when he just stayed quiet it made her a little unsure. Nat nodded to the Asgardian as a silent warning to take care of her before she left the pair. (Y/N) was just as stunned by how Loki looked in his suit. The small amount of green on the black looked just perfect and his hair was slicked back; even cut shorter again making him look more like a businessman or CEO. He looked dashing and the more he looked at her the more mesmerised he seemed to become. The more they looked at each other the more they can't help just staring when she slowly looked down with a bright blush on her cheeks. As soon as she looks down Loki cups her chin softly and pulls her gaze back to his. "You look stunning, you should not look down, I wish to keep gazing upon the stars in your eyes." He smiled down to her and gently stroked his fingers along her cheek. He smiled adoringly to her and gently took one of her hands kissing the back of it.

"The dress is amazing, I..I never thought I could ever…" Before she could even finish her sentence he frowned and sighed. "The dress may be beautiful but you are stunning. I have seen the greatest artworks in Asgard and none of it compares to you." He smiled softly to her, even when she ran a hand through her hair unsure, before hearing music change to a slow song. He took a step back and bowed slightly; offering his hand to the woman before him "My dear, would you care to dance?" (Y/N) was stunned and looked to see the team watching them before they quickly looked away. "I don't know how." She bit her lip unsure before he gently took her hand guiding her to the dance floor. "Just follow my lead, I will guide you step slowly." She was hesitant at first but she followed him to what had become the dance floor. He gently took one hand, placed her other on his shoulder, and placed his free hand on her hip. He took it slow as he held her and began to lead her through the dance and as she got more comfortable in the dance she began to smile and even stayed closer to the taller man.

The pair fell into step in their dance just gazing at one another and enjoyed the blissful feeling they had in each other's arms. They both held each other, moving slowly through the dance floor and the pair just seemed to fit perfectly. The team stood back and watched the pair as they danced together all feeling joy that the pair had finally seen the way they stared at each other. Loki held her close smiling softly before he ran a hand through her hair. "This colour looks so good on you. I had not thought green could ever look good on anyone but me and as always you find a way to surprise me." He held her closer and ran a hand along her back sighing happily. "I had missed you so much while I was away, I had wanted to get that job over with so I could come back and make sure were okay. I could not stop thinking about you, I have never had anyone on my mind as much as you, I think I may have found a reason to love this boring planet. You give it such beauty that if I ever left I would regret it for all of eternity. I have finally found someone that could break the ice around my heart." Hearing Loki speak so openly and freely surprised her and the thought that he could love her confused her yet she felt a thrill of joy rush through her at hearing his confession.

"Loki, what are you saying? I-I mean I'm not…you could have anyone in the world." She felt his hand cup her cheek and he slowly leaned down. "And if it's you that I want? Would you let me say you were mine? Do you think you could be happy with someone like me?" She knew her answer and didn't even have to think. "Loki, if I had a man half as good to me as you have been I'd be ecstatic, you've been wonderful to me. How could I ever think I could be worthy of you? You're a prince, you've spent your life in a palace, being spoiled by maids and servants and I spent mine in some lab being made into…this." He smiled softly shaking his head slowly. "If anything I do not deserve you. After everything I have done here, to think I could ever be with you, I'd have to be crazy." She smiled and leaned up closing the gap between the two of them; kissing his lips softly and chastely. He smiled happily at her gentle kiss and returned one of his own that held much more passion and love then he'd meant to show.

They spent the evening together barely spending a moment apart. (Y/N) felt she was in a dream, that she would wake up and it would all be over but the more Loki held her, the more he kept her close, the more she felt at ease. If this was a dream, then she didn't want to wake, she could happily stay like this with Loki; if anything she didn't want it to end. The world around them didn't seem to matter as they enjoyed each other's company and seemed to constantly hold each other throughout the whole evening. The plan between the spy and genius seemed to have worked perfectly and the whole team seemed to feel relief that the pair had finally opened up and confessed to one another. Thor seemed especially proud of his brother's affection and hoped that she could be someone that could bring Loki back to the man he used to be.


	4. Fear of Touch

**Loki x Reader**

 **4: The Fear of Touch**

 **Pairing: Loki/Reader**

 **Chapter Number/One-shot: Chapter Three (Of Monsters and Princes)**

 **Word Count: 2,056**

 **Warnings: Mentions of Rape and Genophobia**

 **Author's Notes:**

 _ **So I had someone on AO3 ask me to write the next part to this series. I got a really good concept for the next part and I hope you guys like it. I warn you this has triggers of rape and Genophobia so please read with caution.**_

Ever since the party it seemed like Loki and (Y/N) had both been much happier. They began to spend more time together, he seemed much more amicable to the team, and she seemed to just have much more confidence around all the team. Loki had been officially accepted into the Avengers team working with group or training with them; still being more willing to push some of the team as slight revenge and teasing. They had all been much happier to see how both had grown yet there was something that still bothered her and Nat seemed to pick it up. She had waited till they were both alone to talk to her about whatever it was that seemed to affect her. She'd seen how she would tense or how her breathing would change whenever Loki went to touch her in certain ways and it was something she'd only seen a few times; but was sure she knew what had caused it after hearing what she'd been through.

The team were either on missions, training or working on the new base and her and (Y/N) were watching the tower giving them some peace and quiet for a short time. The younger woman had been sat watching the television when the spy came and sat beside her curling her legs under her to enjoy watching the show herself. "You and Loki seem to be doing well. It's been what, three months, since the party and both of you seem like you're on cloud nine. I mean Loki hasn't done half of the tricks he used to, and you, well you've come out of your shell." Nat kept her eyes on the TV as she spoke but she could feel (Y/N)'s eyes on her surprised by the way she approached her. "I couldn't help notice there was still something bothering you though. I don't think anyone else has but, if you need someone to talk to you know I'm always going to be here." Nat finally looked to her smiling brightly but she could see the conflict in the woman's eyes as the cogs seemed to turn in her mind. This was the same look she'd seen on the woman's face whenever Loki's hands began to get intimate, began to wander, whenever it seemed her comfort zone had been pushed.

"If I tell you, promise not to tell anyone, please? I don't…I can't tell him, I just can't." (Y/N)'s voice was soft and full of desperation when she spoke to the spy. With the subtle nod the worried woman seemed to tense more and her eyes wandered over to the window seeing the bright day outside. "You know about HYDRA's work, what they did to me and how they changed me. They made me into something I feared but-but they did more than that." Her hands moved to her shirt, pulling at the hem and tugging it nervously. "Before all that though, they-they did things no one should do." She began to shake staring out the window before feeling the touch on her shoulder. "It's okay (Y/N), just calm down, I-I can guess what they did. Is that why you're so nervous when he touches you?" A nod was all that was needed for Nat to realise just how hard it had been for the poor woman during those times. "You know you'll have to tell him you two need to talk about something like this. I don't know if he's noticed yet but I'm sure he will and he might feel like you've been lying if you don't tell him."

(Y/N) frowned lightly at the thought of upsetting Loki but she didn't know if she could tell him. She wanted to, so many times, but she worried that what happened to Tony would happen again; fearing losing control more than anything else. She bit her lip anxiously as her mind reeled over what could happen if she told him and she was so lost in her mind that she didn't notice when Loki came into the room. She could tell instantly that there was something wrong. There was a tension in the air that you could almost cut and he quickly looked over seeing just how nervous the woman he loved was. He rushed over to her worried about what had bothered her only to see her startled out of her mind; almost scared to see him there. "Widow, what have you done to her? She's frightened out of her mind!" Loki's voice was a mixture of fear and anger thinking the spy had been the one to upset his lover only for the smaller woman to place a hand on the prince's arm. "Loki stop. She didn't do anything, we were just talking and something came up, it's nothing to worry about." As soon as Loki's hand went to rest against (Y/N)'s leg she tensed and he finally seemed to notice that her tensing wasn't something good.

He'd thought at first it had been her leaning into his touch, that she'd wanted more of it, yet now he actually looked at her he could see the wide eyes, the way they flicked from where they touched to him, the way her breathing became more shallow. He knew she was scared, but it wasn't of him, her eyes changed subtly when she looked to him from when she looked at his hand against her leg terrified. "(Y/N), my love, what's wrong?" He slowly pulled back his hand seeing her slowly change back and he looked back at the red head behind him. "I'll just leave you two alone, I think you two need to talk about this, if you need me I'll be in my room." She quickly slipped away and Loki took her seat on the couch feeling his own body tense up with nerves about what was going on. "Love, you know you can talk to me about anything, I am not going to torment you or tease you for whatever it is that caused…that kind of reaction." He could see how scared she was just sitting there playing with her fingers on her lap; obviously scared of talking about whatever got her in this state.

"Loki I don't think I can talk about…this. It's not something I want to talk about, I'm scared I'll lose it, that you'll get hurt because of losing control. I can't have that happen again." She put her head in her hands trying to hold back the tears only to feel Loki's hand on her back; rubbing it carefully. "I know you have strength in you to control that creature just like I have strength of my own, I have my own reason to stay strong and that's you, I am sure that knowing you don't want to harm me will stop that change from happening." Hearing his soft voice helped calm her a little and his cool hand on her back seemed to bring down the fear yet she still couldn't talk. She wanted to tell him, for him to know her fear and she knew there was only one way that was going to work. She had to let him into her mind, let him see just what she had been through, it was the only way she could let him know without bringing up the pain from those memories.

"Loki, I want you to do something I'm not sure you'll want to." She bit her lip as she looked to him and sat up a little; his own eyes showing confusion and worry. "I know you can read minds, as long as whoever you're working on lets them, and I want you to do that." He was stunned to hear her words and searched her eyes for something it seemed he would never find. It had been so long since anyone had let him look into their mind and he had never expected her to let him. It was something he had always been tempted to do when he wondered what was going on in her mind however he hated the thought of invading somewhere so private. "Love, are you sure? Something like that it's, well, very intrusive and I would not want you upset from such magic. It is also very draining for those it is used on, you may sleep for days after such magic, are you really sure you would let me into your mind like that?"

She nodded slightly looking to the Asgardian prince smiling a little nervously as the prince stared at her stunned. He gently cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb across the soft skin, feeling her tense again at the gentle strokes before pressing their foreheads together. Slowly green light began to envelope the pair as they sat together as the magic slowly allowed Loki into her mind. First he felt her love for him, her complete dedication to him, then her fear seeped into his mind, the fear of his hands moving closer to intimate parts of the body, the want to be with him but the fear of sexual relations. Slowly the feelings became images, became flashes of memories and torments that seemed to wreck the prince's mind faster than he ever expected. He could feel the pain and agony, see the monsters that called themselves men taking advantage of the weakened woman. They had done things no one should ever do to anyone, they attacked her, strapped her down so she couldn't run and took their pleasure out on her. Feeling the fear and pain flood him made the prince jolt back breathless; stunned at how she had kept such pain hidden so well for so long.

They spent a few moments just catching their breaths as they stared at each other not know quite what to do with themselves. Loki hadn't lied when he said the magic was tiring, (Y/N) feeling all energy from her body sucked out from such a short amount of time, yet it seemed it had tired him out more than he had ever expected it to. After a few moments of silence Loki seemed to finally find his voice again; laced with shock and anger. "My love, I-I am so sorry I have put you through that fear again. I had not known you had been through such madness. If those men ever come near you again I promise to make them feel infinitely more pain." Seeing the anger and pain in Loki's eyes worried her and she didn't want to see Loki go back to the way he used to be. She quickly took his hand and held it tightly bringing him out of the dark thoughts that swarmed his mind. "How? Just how did you manage with such memories?" He could feel the tears in his eyes but wouldn't let them fall trying to be strong for her. "Loki, there's no need. When I escaped their facility the 'other side' took matters into its own hands. They're gone, all of them, so there's nothing more you can do other than just help me move on."

She was shaking wildly, feeling the exhaustion take over, and fell back a little in her seat staring up at the ceiling. She felt arms slowly move to pick her up, trying to avoid any sensitive areas or anywhere that he had known those monsters had touched her. He was careful to carry her up to her room, like a new bride, and gently lay her down on the bed. With a click of his fingers she had been changed into comfortable sleep-wear and began to turn away giving her chance to calm down. Her hand quickly reached out to grab his wrist not wanting to be alone and offered for him to sit on the bed with her. "Loki, stay, please? I don't want you to go." Hearing her soft voice brought a warm smile to his lips as he sat down and gently stroked her hair; soothing her into her sleep. "Don't worry my love, I will help you through this, I will always be here for you should you need me or not." This was the last thing she heard as (Y/N) fell into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Trust and Acceptance

**Loki x Reader**

 **5: Trust and Acceptance**

Loki had been right about the magic being draining on her body, making her sleep for a day and a half to recover, and when he realised she would sleep he thought it best to leave her alone. He knew she'd need as much rest as she could get to recover from the stress of such a spell and bringing up such memories but he had to figure out just what she needed. He hadn't expected anyone to every want him, never mind need him, and he wasn't sure how to help her through the hell that she had been through. He knew she wanted him to help, she'd said so to him the night before, but he'd never helped anyone through such a devastating history.

When he headed down to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast he noticed Natasha was sat watching the television while eating her breakfast. He knew the two women were close and thought that maybe she could help if she was willing to. He sat himself beside her with his own breakfast, testing her reaction to him first as he sat near her, and when she didn't move away he relaxed into the chair looking to her. "Miss Widow, thank you for giving (Y/N) and I some peace to talk last night. She seemed to need it and it seems she thinks I can help her but I am not so sure myself. She let me into her head, to see what she'd gone through…" He frowned a little as he spoke remembering the horrid feelings but decided not to go into detail in case she hadn't told the woman. "That's pretty big. You think you can manage all that responsibility?" She leaned back in her seat looking to him. "I don't know, that's why I hoped you could help, I've not had anyone…need me like this before and I wondered what exactly might help her?" Nat left her bowl on the table in front of her and sat cross-legged on the sofa looking to Loki surprised.

She had been the last person she thought Loki would ever talk to by choice but it seemed he was willing to do something to help her out. Although she hadn't been with the team for very long she had grown attached to (Y/N). She had wondered whether Loki would keep her happy, whether he could be dedicated enough to her, but hearing, and seeing, Loki ask for help seemed to show he was thinking more of what she needed and not what he wanted. The corners of her mouth rose a little in a coy smile as she relaxed into the seat looking over Loki. "She's given me a clue of what she's gone through. Stuff like that isn't easy to get through, she's not had anyway willing to help her, but just know it's not going to be easy for either of you to go through. She's going to re-live the hell she went through before and you're going to learn just how it affected her, both of you are going to have to take your time, you're gonna have to learn her limits and slowly work on pushing them. Stuff like you letting her initiate hugs or touches, and then slowly starting to initiate them or asking her for them. I know she doesn't want to lose you and I hope that you care for her as much as it seems because if you hurt her then be prepared to have the whole team on your ass."

Loki could tell the weight of the words the assassin was saying and he knew she would keep the silent promise of protecting her should he hurt her. He would be the same if any of the team hurt her, making sure they would regret harming her, and he understood completely where she was coming from. The pair sat and spoke for a few hours, while the rest of the team were asleep or out on missions or just relaxing in their rooms, as he discussed with her the best ways to try and help (Y/N) through the hell she had been through without making her panic. It had been a few hours and Nat had managed to give Loki an understanding of what he needed to do to help the woman he loved. He went to check on her around lunch time finding her still deep in sleep but in a pleasant dream. Knowing she was okay he left her to sleep with a note for her in case she woke up, stating that he was downstairs if she needed him, and slipped down to the kitchen spotting Tony with a bottle of scotch and a glass. He remembered that (Y/N) had told him she thought the man drank too much alcohol and it was clear he hadn't had any breakfast yet.

He watched the genius pour himself a drink, talking with Bruce about some new experiment, and muttered a spell under his breath as he watched the alcohol change from golden to clear. He smirked a little as he watched the male go to sip at his drink only to find it had changed to water while he was distracted. He stared at the water and then the bottle of alcohol feeling confused on how it had changed between being poured. He grumbled a little and poured out the water before trying to pour another drink only for that to turn into water again. He glared at the glass as if it had personally insulted him and slammed it down onto the side to try with another drink. Each alcoholic drink he'd tried to pour himself would turn to water as soon as it left the bottle making anger boil through the genius' blood. "What the hell's going on?! I just want a god damn drink!" Tony growled out angrily as his own words seemed to sink in. "God damn…" Loki had quickly sat down after casting the spell, acting as if he was doing nothing more than reading a book, and felt the sharp glare of the billionaire over his shoulder. "Loki, what have you done? There isn't exactly anyone else who can make my very expensive alcohol turn into water, so whatever you've done, I suggest you undo it."

Loki closed the book and lay it on his lap looking over to the billionaire. His brilliant green eyes just looked over the billionaire, as he thought on whether to revoke the spell or not, before sighing and leaning back in the seat again. "I am taking no joy in such a spell, Tin Man, I am simply doing what (Y/N) has requested. She has commented multiple times that she wished you would drink less and it seems you ignored her each time or drink more to annoy her. I thought I'd help along with remedying the situation, for her sake more than mine. The less stress and worries she has, the better. Like I said this is purely in (Y/N)'s best interest." Loki smirked a little as he spoke, clearly enjoying the spell, before putting on a straight face. Tony felt his blood boil as Loki spoke, as Loki moved, hell everything about him now was infuriating the man. "Yeah, don't enjoy it my ass, just undo whatever trick you've pulled. I want my alcohol." Tony squared up against the god feeling frustration boiling over when Nat walked in seeing the pair acting like children; well Tony was, Loki was just winding the situation up.

"Okay boys, enough with the pissing contest, Loki whatever you've done just undo it for (Y/N)'s sake." Nat gave Loki a look and he just smiled to the red head repeating what he'd said to Tony. "This _is_ for her. She always states that he drinks far too much and that it worries her and so to help reduce the stress and worry, which you stated I needed to Widow, I thought I would help him alter his habits." Loki kept that same smooth tone as he smirked to the red head before heading up to the library; leaving a furious Tony muttering and mumbling about not being able to drink. Throughout the day Loki kept checking up on (Y/N), making sure she was still okay, and settled himself in a corner of the library whenever he found a book he wanted to know. He had wanted more ideas on how to help the woman he loved and built himself a pile of books on human psychology to find every method that might give him some more information. He made sure to do one last check of her as it got dark leaving her a glass of water and making a new note letting her know where he was. He didn't realise how late it had become until he felt someone lay a hand against his shoulder.

He couldn't help jumping at the unexpected contact and looked behind him to see (Y/N) smiling down to him; clearly not long woken up. He smiled back to her and lay his hand over hers gently watching the way she reacted to his hand on hers. She didn't seem to mind the small touch and he offered her the seat next to him and watched as she slipped onto the seat keeping just a small space between her and Loki. She looked over the piles of books that seemed to surround the god and picked one up noting where the god had put notes or pieces of paper to mark pages. She frowned as she began to thumb her way through some of the books, pausing on the marked pages once in a while, before feeling Loki's eyes on her and finally looking at him again. "Did you sleep well? I told you the magic would drain you didn't I?" He was clearly concerned about her and he put his hand out for her to take if she wanted. She looked between his hand and him and took hold of it gently before squeezing it a little. "I slept okay, and yeah you did. How long was I out for?" She smiled and ran her thumb along his hand gently; Loki letting her take the lead for any touches.

"Well, you've slept for the whole night and day, but I checked on you a couple of times to make sure you were okay." He lightly rubbed his thumb along her palm watching her reactions carefully and stopped when he realised she'd tensed up a little. "I spoke with the woman assassin, just wishing for advice on how to help you, not one of my proudest moments but she gave me some good advice. You said you thought I could help you, I had thought she was the best to ask how, I still don't know what you think I can do to help." He kept his gaze on their hands and watched as her thumb rubbed along his hand. She smiled seeing the way he behaved with her, clearing trying to be careful not to push the limits like before, and cupped his chin to direct his eyes to hers. "I think you could do a lot Loki. I hate that I recoil at touch, especially your touch, hell I want to be able to hug someone and not have flashbacks. You're clever and you're the first person that I really want to have physical contact with. No one else ever made me happy enough to trust them but with you I'd give up anything to be able to just hug and kiss like normal couples do." She felt tears coming to her eyes and Loki cautiously wiped one of the tears from her cheek as it rolled down. "See you can't even comfort me without worrying it freaks me out."

He smiled softly to the young woman and rubbed his thumb gently against the woman's hand again. "I hadn't realised what had hurt you before and I don't want to stress you out or make you panic again. If I were to lose you then I would probably go back to the way I was before. If you believe that I can help you through this then that's all I need. We can get through this (Y/N), why do you think I've been reading up on everything? From what I've read then you should be the one to lead the touches, to show me what you feel comfortable with but it also means you know what limits you have and if you push too hard too fast then you'll only make things go backwards. Trust that if you can't cope, you can tell me, and we can stop. There's no point in pushing you so far that it becomes all for nothing." He smiled warmly to her and she cupped his cheek with the same hand that had held his before; returning the smile as she stroked the cheek. "You've clearly been busy while I was asleep." She chuckled softly to herself before looking through all the books he had piled around him. "So you're saying I'm in charge of us, of our relationship, of everything?" She frowned a little, surprised that Loki had even offered her the control, and he just nodded slowly before offering her his hand to let her put it wherever she wanted him to.

She stared at the hand in front of her as if it were a strange gift or a new creature she hadn't seen before. It was more the meaning of the offer that had her staring at the hand and she looked between the hand and his face before carefully taking the hand and laying it cautiously against her cheek; her mind racing with what could happen if Loki had wanted to harm her. She closed her eyes tightly and focused on the fact that she was in control of his touch, which seemed to calm her mind just long enough for her to begin to enjoy it, and smiled as she felt his thumb slowly begin to rub her cheek. Loki had noticed how she'd begun to enjoy the touch and had hoped the gentle rubs that had comforted her before; feeling a small bubble of joy seeing her still smiling. "We'll get there (Y/N), we just have to give your mind a chance to understand that I love every inch of you, and that I would never want to see you hurt by anyone's hand."

The pair of them had sat together for a short while longer, taking note of the pages that Loki might find useful later, before moving to the large lounge where the team usually sat together after missions. The pair were lucky to find that everyone was somewhere else and they got comfortable on the large sofa together while (Y/N) flicked through the channels looking for something decent to watch. Loki sat with an arm across the back of the chair while (Y/N) had started off sitting forward a little; resting her elbows on her knees. She had gotten distracted with whatever programme she'd left the television on and ended up leaning back and slowly moved closer to the god who had been sitting comfortably reading the book he had left there earlier. He hadn't realised how close she had gotten until he felt her jump away at Tony grumbling and huffing as he stormed passed hoping the spell had worn off so he could get a drink.

When he discovered that it hadn't faded yet he seemed to growl and looked over to the pair; Loki back to reading while (Y/N) looked over puzzled at Tony being so annoyed. "You need to get him to take this damn spell off me. Every damn drink I pour turns to damn water! Even if someone else pours it, it changes when I hold the glass. All I want is a damn drink!" Tony huffed clearly annoyed. (Y/N) sighed and looked to Loki with a stern look. "Take off the spell Loki, just give us peace, cause the longer you leave it on the more he's going to complain." Loki didn't look at the billionaire and just smiled to the woman he loved playfully. "You always said how you hated how much he drank, so I thought I could adjust this for you." She laughed and shook her head sighing. "Well just take it off before he complains more." Loki pouted a little, but when her look didn't change and she moved away a little, he gave into her request and waved a hand; removing the spell. With the spell gone Loki huffed a little, his little game over with, and Tony seemed to be much happier; or maybe it was the drink.


	6. Strong Progress

p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"The evening for the pair, after Loki had released the spell, seemed to become peaceful. (Y/N) hadn't wanted to go to bed too early as she felt she'd just woken up and wanted to spend some time with the ex-prince. The pair spent till late night, or maybe till early morning, just enjoying each other's company for a while as the television played a late night film. Loki hadn't realised that as they sat there (Y/N) had been getting closer to him and even moved to lean against him when she fell asleep. He sighed softly seeing the way she snuggled against him while deep in her sleep and he stood up, scooping her in his arms bridal style, and took her to her bedroom to let her rest. He had taken plenty of notes, taking them with him to her room to read up on while she slept, and began to work out the best way to help (Y/N) without pushing it too far./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center" /p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"To say Loki never did anything without thinking it through, isn't always true, but the times he does plan he plans for everything. He had planned for if she got lost in her flashbacks, for when everything got so bad she could barely function, for when it became hell for her, but he also planned for if it went better than expected, planned for dates and ways to improve herself faster and faster. He planned out each day to make sure each idea he had come across was made part of the plan, to see what ideas worked for her and test just what would work best. He'd never been in a position like this before, he'd never cared so much for someone else's happiness before, and it scared him to think that if anything happened to her then he would lose himself. She had his heart and it was the first time he would honestly give up his life to protect her which was a scary thought for the trickster god./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center" /p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"Over the next few days the pair began to put the plan into action. They would start with small touches, letting (Y/N) control how far the touches could go, and it seemed at first that it was working well. Loki had noticed that after a month her reactions seemed to improve, she didn't tense so much at his touch, she didn't flinch if he brushed his hand against hers, and she started to take hold of his hand more, being closer to him, sitting close to him on the sofa together; as long as his arm wasn't wrapped around her. He had noticed she didn't like having his arms wrapped around her, realising she felt trapped if he held her like that, and she had realised that the limit she thought she had was slowly beginning to change; feeling more comfortable putting her trust in the god. Loki felt proud to see how far they had both come along in a month, to see how much better (Y/N) had become with not only him touching her but the rest of the team as well./p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"He had noticed that she would stand and sit just a little closer to the different members of the team, she was more comfortable with helping the team out, and even seemed to gain control over her shifting ability. At the end of the second month the team began to discuss working with (Y/N) to train her to become part of the team. Loki hadn't liked the idea at first, worried that the training might make all their hard work fail, but he gave in eventually with the condition that he could watch some of the earlier training matches to make sure she was okay. He didn't want to see her hurt or to think she might panic, knowing she'd only see herself as a monster for her loss of control, but when he had seen the way she laughed and smiled throughout the training Loki knew this would help her. Thor had noticed that his brother was clearly not his usual self, finally able to see the 'real' Loki, and had seen the way he would check (Y/N) every time she finished training. He'd hadn't seen Loki so worried about someone like this since he was young an inseparable from their mother. He had waited for the team to leave, knowing Loki wouldn't want to talk with everyone there, and moved to sit with Loki; only to earn a glare from the trickster god. "Oh mighty Thor, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Loki barely raised his eyes from his book as he felt his brother sit close to him./p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center""I just wish to speak with you brother, you remember that we used to do such things together?" This only earned an eye roll from the god as he kept his eyes on the book. "Miss (Y/N) and you seem to be getting along well. It is nice to see you have someone you trust and care about again. After your fall, I thought I had lost you, and yet you were alive but you were not the Loki I remembered but it seems now that Loki I remember. The missions you have been going on you seem to be working with the team rather than staying back, it reminds me of when we were young and father would send us out on raids or peace talks." Thor smiled fondly to his brother remembering their misadventures from their younger years. Loki just shook his head and sighed lightly as he lay down the book he had been reading; realising his brother wasn't going to leave./p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center""And what exactly is your point, brother? I get you enjoy thinking of the old days but that Loki was a fool to believe he was wanted or needed there. I had always felt on the edge of your little jobs, like an afterthought, as both you and your friends were informed of the tasks and then sent to retrieve me to 'aid' you. Your companions also refused to acknowledge the number of troublesome spots I saved you all from." He sighed heavily shaking his head as he spoke. "May you now leave me in peace so I may finish my book and plan for the missions ahead."/p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"Thor frowned a little at his brother's words, hearing the Loki he refused to believe was true, and sighed softly as he just got himself comfortable on the seat. He wasn't about to allow Loki to wallow in solitude like he had allowed himself to do all those years ago. Although Loki had tried to focus back on his reading, Thor ignored the mutters and behaviour Loki showed and just sat with him talking excitedly about how everything had changed for both of them. Although Loki didn't appear to be paying attention the words Thor was saying did reach him and it did make him think just how much (Y/N) had changed him positively. Although when he had attacked he hadn't been in full control, the sceptre making his craving of power into an obsession clouding his usual judgement, he'd had some control over his actions and he had felt frustration at himself for letting the weapon control him; even if it was just a small amount. He had always seen himself as different, as someone who would never belong anywhere without people fearing him or respecting him, and had thought himself to be a monster once he'd found his true heritage but when he had met (Y/N) she didn't fear him, she didn't hate him, and she didn't judge him./p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"Looking back, he hadn't realised just how kind she had really been to him. Those first few weeks with him he had insulted her on multiple occasions, had behave how he had with everyone new being sure they would abandon him eventually, and yet she had stayed with him on those quiet times allowing him to just be who he wanted to be. She'd accepted him for who he was and trusted him enough to give everything to him, she had even helped him feel like he belonged there with her, and as he looked back on everything he'd done he realised if he could go back and change everything he doubted he would if it meant he didn't meet her. He hadn't expected such a thought to rise to mind but he knew he would give up everything for her and that thought scared him. He knew if she was ever in trouble then he would do everything to help get her out but this also meant they could use her to get to him if anyone he crossed knew of her./p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"As his thoughts began to shift to this more dangerous area they were broken when (Y/N) walked in. He could hear Nat congratulating her on how well she'd improved and noticed Thor moving to give her space beside him; with a playful wink. The pair of women got themselves a drink and laughed together as (Y/N) sat with Loki while Nat planned to head up to her room. He stayed silent as the women laughed together a last time before Nat moved off and (Y/N) tucked her legs under her while she sat next to Loki. She had clearly showered after the training, her hair still a little damp, and she played with a strand as she looked to Loki smiling. It was clear something more than just the training had happened between the two women during their session but when he felt her hand against his, to make him lower his book, he noticed there was something different. She took hold of his hand gently, seemingly thinking of something and building her courage to say it, and she smiled softly to him now she had his full attention./p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center""Loki, you've done so much for me, stuff I never thought anyone would be willing to do, and I owe you so much. You've tried so hard to help me and now I've gone from panicking every time someone touched me to being able to train and spar with everyone. I can hold your hand and have even started being able to hug you and it's all thanks to you just willing to help me. Loki, I love you so much." She cupped his cheek gently and smiled brightly; almost on the verge of tears of joy. "You're the best thing that's happened to me. You might think it's the other way around but without you I wouldn't be half as comfortable around everyone and I doubt I'd feel half as useful as I do now."/p  
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p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"She rubbed her thumb along his cheek gently and finally built up the courage to lean forward and press her lips to his. She felt the way he kissed her back but was careful to let her guide how far she could go. This was why she trusted and loved him. He took his time with her, pushed her a little when he thought she could manage, showing her what she could do if she put her mind to it. She pushed her hand into his hair and began to deepen the kiss feeling the joy it brought her. She had taken time to build her courage, having wanted to kiss him like this from the moment they had become a couple, and she now let her mind relax; allowing her instincts guide her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center" /p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center"She lightly tugged at his hair making him groan softly as his own hands moved to lay over her hips. He didn't know how far she was willing to go, how much she wanted to do, but he was happy to just enjoy the attention she offered him. It was the first time the pair had been that intimate and it was just a passionate kiss. When she slowly pulled away her cheeks were bright red and she couldn't help playing with her fingers nervously. She had spoken with Nat about how she had wanted to kiss him and how she feared it would cause a reaction but to have her own body enjoy it only made her feel better./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center" /p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center""I've been wanting to do that for a while." She muttered softly and smiled to him as his thumb rubbed her side gently./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center" /p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" align="center""Me too, but I had not wished to push you beyond what you felt you could do in that area." Loki smiled warmly back to her and lay his forehead against hers; it was certainly one way to give him something to come back to./p 


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